Jo and Sue were the best of friends until a conflict between
them caused them to drift apart.
Jo had to borrow a dress from Sue for a wedding reception,
in which Sue agreed enthusiastically to and even offered to lend Jo her
favourite dress. However, Sue did not mention to Jo about needing this dress
for an upcoming ceremony a week after the wedding reception, trusting that Jo
would return it to her soon after.
Jo was informed a day after the wedding reception that her
grandmother was hospitalised. Jo had been busy since then, having to shuttle
herself between school, hospital and home, and had forgotten about returning
Sue’s dress.
On the other hand, Sue was not updated about Jo’s
predicament, and had thought that Jo was being irresponsible for not returning
the dress in time for her ceremony. Sue started feeling resentful towards Jo,
and had stopped speaking to her. Jo was puzzled by Sue’s behaviour, and had
tried to reconcile with Sue without knowing the reasons for Sue’s sudden change
of attitude towards Jo.
The main problem of this conflict is probably due to a
communication breakdown between the two friends, leading to differing
expectations and thus misunderstanding. Sue might have expected Jo to have more
initiative in returning the dress soon after her event. Perhaps Sue did not
want to come across as being too pushy to keep asking about the dress. On the
contrary, Jo might be too overwhelmed by her family matter to remember about
Sue’s dress. Jo might also have taken for granted that Sue was her best friend,
and would most probably not mind if she were to return the dress a little later
than she should.
In this scenario, I believe both parties are at fault, as
Sue did not inform Jo about her need for the dress in a week’s time. Sue should
also remind Jo about the dress after the wedding reception, and could perhaps
let Jo have a chance of explaining herself before getting angry with her.
Conversely, Jo should have explained to Sue about her predicament, and
consequently ask if she could return the dress a little later.
How would you have handled this situation if you were Sue?
Hi Jade! This is an interesting post which I had experienced it myself too. I agree with you that the above conflict could have been avoided if they had voiced out their problems earlier without assuming that the other party would do according to what they had expected. They should understand that things usually don't turn out what they want them to be and it is only through interpersonal communication and empathy that we can understand each other's situation better.
ReplyDeleteIf I were Sue, I would first explain to Jo that I will need this dress for an upcoming ceremony which is a week after her wedding reception. Having said that, I would ask her whether she is able to return me before my ceremony and if she agrees, I will lend her. If not, I will lend her another dress which I don't need it that urgently.
Assuming that the deadline is drawing near and Jo still haven't returned me, I would perhaps approach her for a casual hangout which is a good opportunity for a great catch up and also remind her about the dress. In this way, our friendship is still maintained as usual.